Life is so uncertain. I think as a mom it is my job to try and make the best of all situations. I think it is my job to be the rock that they can always count on. Gosh, sometimes that is hard. Not to be steady, but to try and not let them see how torn up I am sometimes. Maybe it would be better if they knew that I am just as confused as they are. Sometimes I want to throw in the towel too. But, you get back up and do it all again. You keep trying until you just can’t try anymore. You keep going, slow and steady wins the race.
There have been times in my life that it looked so bleak and I was not sure how I was going to get through the day. Times I have been so poor I wasn’t sure when I was going to eat next. Times I fed my daughter but didn’t eat myself. I made it through. Sure, I have been accused of being “white trash” but if I am or if I was I made it out of there. I am not the person who gave up and accepted that life always had to be hard…that is a lesson that I hope my children take away from me.
There is nothing wrong with being Steady. Life is so full of ups and downs that steady is good sometimes. I think it is more just being who you are. If you are…then people know what to expect from you and learn that they can count on you. That is another thing I want my children to know; that they can count on me.
At the end of the day, I try to be the best mom that I can be, but it is a hard job. I still have to be a regular person too. I have to be a wife, which sometimes I think I am not quite so good at. I have to juggle all these balls and all these jobs and I have to do it while I am in pain every day. I have to work through the pain and try not to let it affect who I am. I try but sometimes I know I fail. I hope that my children remember that life isn’t perfect. Life is full of hard times and life isn’t fair…but it is also the grandest adventure. When the sun rises each morning you have a fresh slate. That day can be anything you wish it to be. Each day is a gift and a blessing. I hope they know that I will always be here to steady their boat when things get rocky. Above that, I hope that when the sun rises each morning they seize the day and make their lives what they envision and not what someone else thinks they should accept.