Life

Yesterday my husband’s niece posted a very moving tribute to her mother on Facebook.  So moving that it brought tears to my eyes.  I guess I should explain that my husband’s sister passed away from breast cancer when her daughter was 10.  She left behind two daughters that were similar in age and age gap to my own boys.  She was a good person and a great mom.  There are many times when I wish I could have known her better but even more times when I wish I were more like her.

The post got me to thinking about my own sons and my daughter.  Her daughter has done very well and turned out to be a beautiful young woman just graduating high school.  Her mom left her with memories and lessons enough to last a lifetime.  She knew she had to.  I have had more time with my boys, more time to love them, more time to teach them, just more.  Have I done enough?  If I were to be gone today, would my boys take my lessons with them throughout the rest of their lives?  Or would they take them for granted and forget them.  I hope they would remember.  I know my daughter remembers the things I taught her, she tells me so.  She is a grown woman and is making it in the world.  She is beautiful and full of life.  Most of all she is happy and that is all a mother can ask.  I sincerely wish she lived closer, but life doesn’t let you have everything you want.

You never know what life is going to throw at you next.  There are curves in the road ahead.  I just hope that the boys will have what it takes to handle them.  I have tried to show them the way.  I know that my way is the old way.  In today’s society everything is different than what I believe.  Everything is faster and smarter and less personal.  I hope the boys understand that kindness does not equal weakness.  Just because you give in does not mean you lose.  Sometimes slowing down is the only way to really SEE a problem and understand how to fix it.  Sometimes using things that are not “smart” allows you to actually learn how to do something, and learn it in a way that allows you to keep that knowledge forever.  Sometimes getting personal can make a huge difference in a life.  I don’t know how many people I have helped just by listening to their troubles or joys but from what they have told me it has been a lot.  Life is not about how many things you can gather around you.  I hope they remember that.

If I were to leave here within the next minute or so, can I honestly say that I lived a good life?  I think so.  I have no regrets.  I may not be rich and may never be, but I have a good life with the love of 3 amazing children.  I hope they see how much their mom loves them.  In this life, they are the greatest thing that I have ever done.  I was given care of them for a little while and it was my job to prepare them to walk the road of life alone.  It was my job to love them and help them become good people  I hope I did that.  I know I have loved them with everything that I have to give.  My whole world is my children, I hope they know.  I try to show them as much as I can.

The only other thing I hope they understand is that we only get one go round in this life.  I hope they make the most of it.  It is a crazy wonderful ride and sometimes it is filled with heartache as well.  My husband’s niece shows that out of heartache beauty can and does rise.  Heartache can build itself into memories that shape your life.  Life is messy.  Life is amazing.  Life is joy.  Life is too short.  Life is definitely worth living to the fullest each day.  Life is a journey.  I hope my children and each one of you are making the most of yours.  Mine will wind down sooner than later, (well actually I plan on living well into my 100s!) and I have seen so much, but there is still more to see.  I plan on really living my life until it is time for my next adventure.  I hope my boys and Lia will do the same.

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This one is from some time ago, but it is a memory with the boys nonetheless.

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Lake Superior this past winter.  I think this was actually the beginnings of the Sunday Adventures!

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Snowmobile trip this past Christmas with the boys and Rod in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

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