Tomorrow, on September 13 in 1997 I got married to my husband. We have been together now for 20 years, married for nearly 19. I say nearly, because tomorrow is the actual day. The reason I’m writing this today, is because I’m still working that other job at night, and I’m not sure that I will have time to write it tomorrow. 20 years, that’s a long time. Some people might say, that that’s almost forever. It sure doesn’t feel that way, it feels like the blink of an eye.
When I look back at the pictures of us on that day, we look so much younger. But, we also look the same I think. The years in between Then and now, have been spent in the daily routine of living. We’ve had children, we’ve moved, we’ve had ups, and we’ve had downs. We have gone on trips, and we have spent many many nights at home. In short, we’ve built a life together. It might not be a storybook romance, and it might not be as exciting as some people think that a marriage should be, but, here’s the truth: marriage is not exciting. Oh, there are moments of pure excitement sprinkled in amongst the day to day life you make. And Marriage is hard work. There are no two ways about it. When you’re part of something as important as a marriage, it takes a lot of work. Sometimes, one person gives a little bit and the other person takes a lot, and other times it’s the other way around. Sometimes one person has to bend, and sometimes the other person does. Above all, it’s just trying to make it work the best way you know how. You share your life with another person and they see you at your very best and also at your very worst. And, if you’re lucky They love you anyway.
My husband has seen me all ways and still loves me. He saw me give birth to our children, he saw me graduate from college, he saw me sell my first motorcycle and come home so excited barely able to wait until I could tell him all about it. He has seen my triumphs and my failures and he continues to support me. Now my husband, can be a hard man. He doesn’t take excuses very well, and often times he wants things done one way… And that is usually his. But, he also has a very giving heart, and he believes in people until they prove him wrong, and he would help anyone. In fact, he tries to help people often and then doesn’t understand why they don’t appreciate the things that he does for them. I try to explain to him that that is unfortunately, just the way the world is. Things have changed in 20 years.
And things have changed, I’ve changed he’s changed I know we’ve gotten older. But, as I remember my wedding day all those years ago I don’t really feel all that different. I still remember the way he first made me feel, and often times he still does. He’s still just as ornery, and stubborn, and funny, and sweet as he ever was. I remember when I first met my husband. I was working in a bar, and he would come in. The funny thing is, that he would come in after work, covered in drywall dust, and he was the sweetest nicest guy I’ve ever met. And then, he would go home, get cleaned up, and he was quite the preppy back then, come back in, and be totally stuck up. I have told him many times, that I fell in love with the drywall guy and the preppy guy, well… I just really didn’t like him very much. We laugh about it now because in the end that’s what I got. I got a hard-working guy, who sometimes it still covered in drywall dust, and still can be the sweetest funniest guy I know.
After 20 years, I can’t imagine my life without my husband. I can’t imagine growing old with anyone else. There are so many things that I still want to do with him. I want to go find waterfalls in the upper Peninsula with him. I want to go snowmobiling with him, even though it is not my forte. I want to see him laugh at me when I inevitably will make a mistake on the snowmobile. I want to get him to go hiking with me. I want to watch him hold his grandchildren for the first time. I want to sit on the porch, drinking coffee, and watch the sunset as we get older. I want to experience every day, knowing that he is going to be waiting for me. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. Life is precious, and to find someone that you enjoy spending time with, and you want to grow old with is a beautiful thing. I told my son yesterday, that I am a lucky woman. I told him that I am lucky enough to have three adorable children who I am all very proud of. I told him I am also lucky enough to be able to say that I am friends with at least one of them. I would have to add to that, and say that I am lucky enough to have married my best friend. I am lucky enough to have found the one person that is absolutely perfect for me. I’m lucky enough to be able to share my life with my husband. Some people might think that that’s small potatoes, and just a tad ridiculous. I don’t care. I hope my children get the chance to share their lives with their best friends.
I hope that my children get the chance to have a long and happy marriage. I hope they get to grow old with someone who loves them just as much as they are loved. I hope, that my children get to have all of the ups and downs that happen in life. I hope that they have someone that they can depend on to go through that with them. I hope all of you, are so lucky. I hope everyone has a wonderful week. I know I will.
And here is a quote for today and one quick snapshot. Talk to you soon.
Aim high, but do not aim so high that you totally miss the target. What really matters is that he will love you, that he will respect you, that he will honor you, that he will be absolutely true to you, that he will give you the freedom of expression and let you fly in the development of your own talents. He is not going to be perfect, but if he is kind and thoughtful, if he knows how to work and earn a living, if he is honest and full of faith, the chances are you will not go wrong, that you will be immensely happy.
Gordon B. Hinckley