Healed

Tonight I decided that I really needed to take a walk.  There is something about walking to the Lake that heals my soul.  It doesn’t matter what is going on, but that Lake speaks to me and tonight I felt the need to see it.  Today had been the kind of day that didn’t allow me to take my walk earlier, and let me tell you the weather was nicer earlier as well.  So, when I decided that I needed to walk to the Lake it was around 5:00, getting dark.  Didn’t matter.  Off I went.

As I made my way down the street the wind tore through my jeans, biting my legs and I thought, “this was a bad idea, maybe I should just turn around and head home.”  Then I heard the lake so I pressed on.  I saw a couple hooking up a pair of horses to a lighted cart to give rides and then I turned the corner and headed downtown and saw the Christmas lights on the nearly empty street.  Things that you see in a small town near Christmas time.

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The night was cold and I was still doubting the merits of this idea, but by now I was too far in to this journey.  As I walked past the bank and saw the temperature of 25 I thought that maybe I should just skip the lake as a strong gust of wind tried to push me back the way I had come.  Little did I know that the “real feel” was 8 degrees.  I must be stubborn or something because I pressed on.  I turned the corner, still fighting the wind and suddenly it dropped away.  Suddenly it wasn’t quite as cold.  Suddenly I knew that this was one walk I had to take.  You see, my day was not particularly good.  Teenage son troubles intruded on our vacation and my heart was heavy all day.  Heavy in the way only a mom’s heart can be when her first son starts to try to spread his wings.  Growing pains that affect a lot of relationships.  The first part of this walk was almost like the fight that raising that boy has become and then suddenly it was a little easier.  I found a snowmobile track and got off the icy road and found the turn to the lake.  A short jaunt through the snow and there I stood awed by the sheer magnificence of the scene before me.

The sky was dark and the water was darker except for the waves that were roaring in to the shore.  The white tops of the waves rolled in one after the other.  The spray hitting the ice by the shore stood out starkly against the night sky.  The sight was magnificent.  I felt the sadness that I had carried in my heart all day evaporate, almost as if the very wind that seemed determined to keep me away was carrying that sadness off and away from my heart.  I felt healed.  I know it is just my imagination, but it was just what I needed.  I needed the reminder that nothing is ever so bad that you can’t find yourself again.  My problems, your problems all seem very small when you stand on the shore and see the power of nature crashing in front of you.

Most of you that read this know that I had gotten a new camera for Christmas this year and I was determined to capture the magnificence of this moment.  Well, that didn’t quite happen.  I need a tripod now.  At any rate, I am not horribly unhappy with the result.  It was kind of a happy accident.

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I still have a lot of studying to do on the new camera, but I think that is something that I won’t really mind doing.  I also know that these teen tempests will pass.  I know that one day I will stand on the shore and see calm waters, I just have to fight my way through the cold wind that is blowing right now.  I know in my heart that tomorrow will be a better day and sadness doesn’t last forever.  All tears eventually dry and harsh words cease to ring in our ears.  I know that the love we have for each other is deeper than anything and it wins eventually.  I wish all of you peace tonight and I wish you love.    Have a good night everyone, I will talk to you soon.

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