A friend of mine and I were talking over some things over yesterday. Sometimes, having a job like mine is such a benefit. And other times, not so much. You get to see the best of people sometimes, and often times you get to see the worst of people however, you also get to see people doing things that they may or may not realize that they’re doing. Bear with me a minute let me explain that.
My friend, said that a lot of sales is actually really psychological. I never really thought about that before, but he is right. My job in essence is to read people. I have to read their body language, I have to read what they say, I have to read what they don’t say, I have to try and figure out the reasons behind the things they’re doing or saying, and try and sell them something that they in no way need. It might be a want for them, but I have to try and figure out some way to get this person in front of me to spend $20-$40,000. I never really thought about it before my friend said that. And, it is true. I have people come in, and I know their life story by the time they leave. And that’s really good for someone like me, because I totally enjoyed getting to know people. I enjoy collecting stories. I enjoy hearing about where they’ve been and where they’re going in with their dreams and goals are. Most of the time it’s great. I get to be part of their lives, I get to see their children to be born or graduate, sometimes I get to see them be married, sometimes I get to see them graduate from college or get a new job, and sometimes I get to see them move away, and there are other times that I unfortunately get to see them pass on. It’s all part of it.
There is a downside to all this though. I get to understand, and realize when people are lying to me. There are times that people lie to me for no good reason. There are times that they have good reasons. Or, they think they do. Most of the time, this is in normal life situations, not in sales. Although it does happen at work. People lie about all kinds of things. And the bad thing is, I know when they’re lying. I know when they’re just trying to tell me something to get their way, or just trying to make me feel bad because they feel bad about something. It’s amazing the things that people unconsciously and consciously do that hurt other people. I go through my entire life trying not to hurt anyone. I hate the way it feels when I get hurt and I never want to do that to someone else. Yet, every day there are people that go out and actively hurt other people. I don’t understand it. It seems like no one puts themselves in the other person’s shoes anymore. And that’s so sad.
Another aspect of this is that I have to make the decision to call the person on the lie or not. I’m to the point in my life, that I have realized that most people do these things unconsciously. Maybe somewhere deep in their psyche they realize that they’re doing it, but for the most part they just do it. I wonder what good it would do to call them on the lie or the hurtful thing that they’ve just done. Just because I understand the reasons behind it, and understand it for what it is doesn’t mean that that person does. Most people, either don’t want to admit the reasons that they’re doing the things they’re doing or they just don’t know. It doesn’t make it right, it doesn’t make it better, and it doesn’t make it hurt any less. It just is. The question then becomes can I live with what this person is doing to me. Is the relationship with this person more important then the lie that they’re telling me. And that is something that you can only decide on a case-by-case basis. In a perfect world everyone would put themselves in the other person’s shoes, and try not to hurt one another. In a perfect world no one would have to lie to someone else because they feel less than. In a perfect world no one would have issues with their body or their… whatever it is that makes them feel less than the person next to them. In a perfect world… Well, we don’t live in a perfect world. People get hurt, people lie, people steal, but on the other hand people are also loving and giving. I guess, the lesson for me today, is that people just don’t know. Just because I can realize what someone is doing doesn’t mean that they know it. And it is not my place to shove it in their face. It is not my place to make them aware of the issues that I know that they have. And who knows, maybe I’m wrong. So I guess what I’m trying to say with this long winded post is if you can, think before you do that thing. Think about the other person. The world does not revolve around just you, or just me. It revolves around everyone. Each one of us is going to have a bad day and probably do something to someone Else that could hurt them. Whether we do it intentionally or unintentionally, it’s going to happen. The only thing that we can do is try and do better next time. And that’s what I strive to do every day. Psychology be damned, we’re all still human. And as for my friend, he’s a good man. Sometimes he annoys the tar out of me, but all in all i am glad he is my friend. He’s another one that makes me think about things in another way. In a way that maybe I never would’ve come to on my own. I am very lucky to have friends like him. I guess you could say that as far as friends go, I am pretty blessed.
I hope each and everyone of you have an amazing day. I know it’s going to be rainy and stormy here today, but tomorrow I am off on a new venture! Here are a couple shots that you may or may not have seen before. Talk to you again soon!